Wednesday, March 26, 2014

12 Step Process of Moped Ownership

1) get a stock moped from craigslist or a garage sale
2) get it running after posting 1000 questions on MA; JUST get it running, don't fix the forks or hook up a rear brake or tail light.
3) you are now the worlds greatest genius mechanic, but your moped only goes 20, time to hit up treatland
4) buy a bunch of performance parts and start taking shit apart on your moped, chop the fender, get some club-mans or just flip over your stock handlebars, cut some wires while you're at it.
5) install the parts poorly, get them barely running, break most of them in the process
6) post on moped army about how crappy moped performance parts are
7) get your bike going 50- you are now a performance god
8) seize your bike
9) park your bike in the back of your garage or post it on craigslist for a rediculous amount of money as it 'needs some tuning but runs good, oh yeah and rear brakes still don't work'
10) buy an enduro and ride it at moped rallies
12) profit


  1. sounds about right! after me and my buddy will kitted our first e50, we thought we were fucking amazing, neither one of us even knew how to tune a carb properly

  2. is this directed at Dougie fresh?

  3. This is exactly what happened with my polini e50 lol. Like shit, it seized again.. Another $50 piston? Nahhhh.. Let it sit for a few months then throw it on the list.

    ...but!... Got a ciao now! Fell in love with mopeds again! No MA posts this time (learnt that serch funkshun)! Blew holiday money on performance parts! Hoping I don't screw it up this time!